What is IFS therapy?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a way of understanding yourself that says you’re not one single you, but there is naturally the multiplicity of the mind. You and every human being have many different protector parts, each with its own feelings, fears, and ways of trying to help you, as well as exile parts, which tend to be vulnerable parts carrying unprocessed pain.

You might know some of these parts well. The part that pushes you to work harder so you don’t fall behind. The part that goes quiet and pulls away when things feel too much. The part that criticises you before anyone else can. Each of these parts puts on its mantle and strives hard at its work to help you, for example, to protect you from pain that was overwhelming when you first experienced it.

In IFS, we don’t try to get rid of these parts as they carry important gifts for you. Instead, we get curious about them with as little agenda as possible. We seek to understand them, build relationships with them, and help them achieve their protective goals, albeit often in new ways with the new resources you now have.

A vital resource is what IFS calls your Self, the calm, clear, compassionate core within you that emerges when parts willingly give way for it. The presence of Self is healing to parts that are in conflict, that feel unheard and unseen, that struggle under the weight of their burdens, and more. Therapy is the process of helping your parts access your Self presence and be in relationship with Self. Through this inner relationship, they become more connected to you and each other, and work harmoniously as a team for you.

IFS has been shown to help with anxiety, depression, trauma, and the kind of stuck feeling that comes from carrying old patterns you can’t quite name. It’s gentle, collaborative, and paced to where your parts are ready to go. In IFS, we often say: “Slowly, slowly, we get there faster.”

For an example of parts at work in everyday life, see A brief explanation of IFS and parts.