Dealing with profound grief

15 March 2022

When faced with profound loss, it’s not about getting rid of the grief but growing around it with time. It’s okay to grieve, feel happy, and then grieve again. The cycle can take hours, minutes, days, months, years. Sometimes, grief never ends, but we grow. We honour the memory of the dead and allow the grief a place in our systems, together with joy and all the normal experiences of life.

People around you, well-meaning, may go: “Why are you still sad?” and, unfortunately, the message ends up being: “What’s wrong with you?” If you experienced that, know that it’s sadly a common enough experience that people write about it. More importantly, you do not need to feel ashamed for grieving. It is a sign of love. Because we love, therefore we grieve.

This picture from theralphsiteshop.com illustrates the process beautifully.