Do you have a part that judges you relentlessly?

27 August 2022

This visual illustrates how our inner critic judges us rather relentlessly at times, with the intention to make us measure up to a standard it deems necessary to avoid shame. The inner critic labours this way usually to prevent our own feeling of unworthiness of coming up.

Ironically, as good as its intentions are, the end result is that we feel even more unworthy. This internal process, conscious or unconscious, will continue till our part(s) carrying unworthiness are listened to, loved, helped and unburdened.

To recognise the existence of this voice, you can try recalling the inner narrative in your head. Sometimes, it can be these familiar thoughts or chatter that are either critical of you or comparing you endlessly to others, or both. Sometimes, that voice can be soft or gentle, giving feedback, and then suddenly turn harsh and call you names.

We need to respect the inner critic (actually all protectors) and seek to understand its protective intent. There is always a good agenda behind its actions, even though it may be hard to believe that initially. Often, the critic is holding the fort in a sense to prevent failure or trying very hard to redirect attention from something else it deems too vulnerable or shameful to be seen.

Because the critic always means well, it will be open to finding another way to help the system after it feels really heard and respected and sees for itself how its methods have inadvertently caused more pain. Ultimately, most critics want to retain their role, and when the system has healed enough, their role becomes easier. They can just give feedback (which is their strength) and the parts will listen without fighting back.

P/S I would like to credit the creator of the visual. If you know who it is, do let me know.