I wrote this in tribute to parts who take on the role of critics to make us do well. They do it with the best intention to make sure that we will be acceptable and the wounds of rejection will not be triggered. They mean well, and actually, they do good by us. We just need them to not overwhelm us, or, to use the words of an IFS trainer who was quoting Pamela Weiss, to melt into freedom.
I see the pains
You take and make
To make sure I will succeed
You see the pain
The little ones hold
When they think they are nothing
Not worth it, not of value
When all is not done well
The turn-aways, the rejection, all bereft, alone, lost.
And you know. So,
"Keep that away, keep that away!"
No more shall the little ones know that pain
Of rejection, of not being enough
"We shall strive, we shall whip, we shall criticise"
"And make sure you put your best foot forward"
"We must be sure, there is no room to fail"
"Fight on, fight on, fight on, let’s just do it, do it, do it."
Tenderly, let me show my appreciation, my gratitude
Thank you for keeping the little ones safe, and connected
They are not forgotten, they are beloved, by you, and me
And I love you. Let me hold you. Let me be with you
And walk with you.
Perfection is found in brokenness, let gold bridge the disconnection*
Deep beauty is many-sided, as with the black, there is the white
Together, let’s walk on this way to heal
Beauty in the cracks, shimmer in the lines
And rejoice in imperfection, rejoice in life.