Ode to the (inner) critics

18 December 2021

I wrote this in tribute to parts who take on the role of critics to make us do well. They do it with the best intention to make sure that we will be acceptable and the wounds of rejection will not be triggered. They mean well, and actually, they do good by us. We just need them to not overwhelm us, or, to use the words of an IFS trainer who was quoting Pamela Weiss, to melt into freedom.


I see the pains

You take and make

To make sure I will succeed

You see the pain

The little ones hold

When they think they are nothing

Not worth it, not of value

When all is not done well

The turn-aways, the rejection, all bereft, alone, lost.


And you know. So,

"Keep that away, keep that away!"

No more shall the little ones know that pain

Of rejection, of not being enough

"We shall strive, we shall whip, we shall criticise"

"And make sure you put your best foot forward"

"We must be sure, there is no room to fail"

"Fight on, fight on, fight on, let’s just do it, do it, do it."


Tenderly, let me show my appreciation, my gratitude

Thank you for keeping the little ones safe, and connected

They are not forgotten, they are beloved, by you, and me

And I love you. Let me hold you. Let me be with you

And walk with you.


Perfection is found in brokenness, let gold bridge the disconnection*

Deep beauty is many-sided, as with the black, there is the white

Together, let’s walk on this way to heal

Beauty in the cracks, shimmer in the lines

And rejoice in imperfection, rejoice in life.


Footnote

*"Let gold bridge the disconnection" takes inspiration from the Japanese art of kintsugi or kintsukuroi, where gold, silver or lacquer dusted with gold is used to mend broken pottery, thus creating a renewed piece that embraces its imperfections as beauty.

This image, found online, likely originates from Lakeside Pottery.